Friday, July 27, 2007
Cathexis*sigh emoticon*
Wishful ThinkingListen to the waves,
Everything communicates.
Will it ever be
Anything more than wishful thinking?
Oh no, there you go,
Looked away and missed the show.
How much wasted time?
Will you survive?
Feel the blades of grass,
How it brings you back.
It will always be
Only as green as you can see.
Oh no, there you go,
Looked away and missed the show.
How much wasted time?
Will you survive?
Oh yeah, fooled again,
I don't know how and I don't know when.
Not much else to blame
But wishful thinking.
Little breakdowns
In coastal towns.
They come suddenly,
Crashing over you.
They come easily.
I'm falling through the skies,
And frozen places
Oh no. there you go
Looked away and missed the show.
How much wasted time?
Will you survive?
Oh yeah, fooled again,
I don't know how and I don't know when.
Not much else to blame
But wishful thinking.
And I try to realize
That I needn't look any further,
The whole of the universe
Is plain to see.
And I try not to rely
On another world or the future.
The whole of the universe is a mystery.
And it gets me over
Yeah, it gets me over
and it gets me over
Yeah, it gets me over
**
Stolen from Mona's Writings:
Have you ever started thinking or singing a song in your head and suddenly you hear that same song play on the radio or you hear someone else sing it? How does that make you feel? Now, imagine that song is a person. You think about somebody, you dream about somebody, and suddenly, one day, you meet that person. It's perfect. But how often does something like that happen? It never happens, does it? Because life always presents us with a twisted sense of perfection. You don't love someone because he/she is perfect, he/she is perfect because you love him/her.
I say:
What is perfect, anyway? We, as imperfect beings must not have a full grasp of what perfection is. We have an idea of it, but as such, is intangible. If we were able to grasp such a concept, that concept wouldn't be perfect at all.
But that's just me.
Mona's going to kill me.
Okay, let's take into consideration that the term "perfect" is used in the context away from its usual definition. Perfect is as perfect as can be. A person isn't loved because he/she is as perfect as can be, he/she is perfect as can be because he/she is loved. Is there any truth to that?
Hello, cathexis! Once you are willing to go beyond what you see (see what you don't want to see, rather than merely seeing what you want to see), once you know what you see and accept what you see, and once self-gratification is no longer the issue (when it's no longer JUST "how he/she makes me feel") your attraction, your involvement, your committment is justified and fulfilled.
Something to ponder about.
**
Anyway, I just came home from a La Salle - Ateneo game. It was a classic. Being a 3rd year student at Ateneo, I thought that maybe somehow, those passionate emotions expressed years ago for the Green Side may have faded, but as soon as i heard the "Dugudum... Dugudum Dugudum!" of the drums, everything just seemed all too familiar. Yes, after two years of hiatus, three years in Ateneo, green blood still flows through these veins.
80-77, OT. Great battle. Ateneo, my Alma Mater, we'll get you in round two. ;)
the adventure ended at 12:45 AM
Sunday, July 08, 2007
The Pursuit of...?I woke up yesterday with one of the best moods ever. It was as if that good ol' Christmas Spirit suddenly had a major malfunction with its calendar and ended up sprinkling good ol' Christmas Cheer on me as soon as I had gotten up. It was like being seven years old and waking up to Christmas Morning. Maybe it was the psychological mindset that told me "Hey! It's 7/7/7! This day will not happen for another 100 years at least! Celebrate it! It's going to be awesome!" Maybe it was because so many good things have been happening to me and to people around me that it just hit me how wonderfully surreal things have been (despite the evil, looming cliche 'what comes up, must come down,' as indicated in my previous entry). Anyway, whatever it was, I woke up and started the day on a high and went about the rest of the day with that same attitude.
Somewhere down the middle, I thought, "Why don't days like this happen as often as they should?" When you think about it, when you REALLY think about it, nothing too special happened yesterday (Well, except for the fact that it was one of my bestfriends' birthday). I thought, "Wouldn't it be amazing if I could wake up this way every single day?" There's a very small possibility that COULD happen. It's all about perspective. Happiness isn't just about the externalities and outside factors that affect you, happiness also has to stem from within. Those external factors, those things, places, people, events, there will always be some of them out there. There will always still be some clear water under the oil-drowned surface of an oil-spilled body of water. But if, like a stubborn little brat is to a clown desperately trying to make him/her laugh, we DO NOT let these things inside of us, happiness will never come. We have to allow ourselves to be happy. We have to think happy before we feel happy.
We work so damn hard just to be happy. We do so many things, we hurt, we suffer, we cry just to become happy. Yes, while that is noble, and while that is what life is all about (its essence, if you will), we shouldn't forget that some forms of happiness aren't that hard to obtain.
We shouldn't forget that while happiness is the ultimate goal in our lives, it, in itself, is the means to get there. We should be happy while looking for that which makes us happy. Yesterday, all I did was wake up and I was happy. Wouldn't it be great if that was there is to it? You sleep, you wake up, you're happy.
The mood's over now. Everything's back to normal. Santa Clause must be kicking the Christmas Spirit's behind for doing what it did yesterday. The Live Earth concerts (check them out on MSN) are probably over by now. I feel fine. I feel normal. But most of all, I feel happy that I felt as happy as I did yesterday.
the adventure ended at 12:56 PM
