Wednesday, March 30, 2005
sweating the airconditioning outwith 2 months of undeniable freedom and immortality, a 17-year old can think of a million things to do. yeah, but thinking of a million things to do and actually doing a million things are two totally different things.
with the dawn of this year's summer, a part of me can't wait until its sunset, the evening, the new day ahead, AKA... college. hehe. i've set my mind on AdMU already [no more 2nd thoughts] and i'm confirming my slot next week. but fuck, come on, it's my last summer before the "bagong yugto sa aking buhay" arrives and i promised myself i was gonna squeeze as much fun and enjoyment out of it as possible.
summer actually [technically {for me anyway}] started on monday. after the holy week. because it's the time when i can actually do whatever i want without any hold-ups. as long as i have permission [i AM still a minor], money... nah, i don't need money.. and the will, there are a myriad of possibilities. hehehe.
travel. one of the most probable activities this summer. due to the overly eccentric and galit-sa-pera [tsk tsk, bad trait. bad trait.] family i am part of, we, the children especially, are encouraged to "broaden our horizons" and travel. now, i have nothing against traveling, but i just think it's inconvenient and that there are many other things to do. besides, traveling with your family has its drawbacks. hehehe. no offense. anyway, the plans of travel this summer? my parents are going to the scandinavian countries while my two elder sisters are going to spain and morocco while doyti and i are going [ahem] "backpacking" in the states/australian outback. i hate the fact that we're spending so much on very unnecessary things. but heck, the opportunity presents itself, so take it. right? i guess. hmmm, "backpacking" might be fun, but in the states? really? in the states? is that possible? gonna go travel around in a Greyhound? i dunno about that. but then, still, it'll be fun with just my sister. hehe. no parental guidance! hahaha.
but then, i can easily blow this off cuz the plans aren't really all that concrete yet and i'm still thinking about it. hmmm.
repertory. i've been joining repertory's summer workshop for the past two summers. should i join again? hmmm. it's possible. but i dunno, i just feel like i wanna do something different. no offense again. but i can't help it, the stage, performing, the lights, the drama, they're all a part of me and that part is screaming out to me and telling me, "hey asshole! get up from your lazy ass and join repertory! your inner thespian-self-dude is dying in here! you asshole!" hmm. very persuasive sub-consciousness. i dunno. we'll see.
jamming. hey greg! this one's for you. yeah, a frustration and fallen dream of mine is to make music. maybe get in a band. express. you know? it's every angsty teenager's dream mind you, i am not much of an angsty teenager [joel: or ARE you?]. but philippines is like jamaica, mahn! haha. everyone can sing. everyone can dance. everyone can perform. even if all you've got is a pretty face, all you have to do is move your lips [and despite the poor lip to sound coordination {AKA dubbing}], you sing beautifully and everyone will love you. whatever happened to making music for the sake of making music? and now, i guess, the closest person to me who's as intense as i am about this is greg [i think]. but come on, we need more intense dudes to fill the void up! aaaaand, i gotta learn an instrument. by heart and hand, i have to learn if i wanna push through with this. no more "kapa-kapa" crapness and random ear-destroying instrument playing. and i gotta imrpove my singing voice. cuz honestly, in my opinion, it's still nothing but pure crap-o-mania. and if i wanna sing, i gotta be good. and the making/writing music part? hahaha. that's the easy part! angsty teenagers make the best music [yeah, yeah joel]. hahahaha! this one's tough. but it's something i really really want to do.
basketball. there's a nike basketball tournament coming up. i want to join. wala lang. yet another frustration and [further 100x] fallen dream of mine is to play basketball well. yeah. i love the game. i love the sport. and i really want to play. but opporunities come like pins in haystacks wtih me as a blind man, feeling around the stack, getting pricked, lost and tired. other people get to the pins first. bah. oh well.
dance. yeah, i do wanna dance. maybe a little more hip-hop and a little less jazz this time. wala lang, i just like it when the music gets me movin', and when i get movin', i wanna know how to move. i wanna get down. ya dig? hahaha. [horrible] not too intense about this one, but it's still there. greg's with me again on this one? what say you, greg?
gym. this one i'm doing already. the boy who once the "patpat" and resident thinman is now 167lbs. fatness. i wanna lose 20lbs by june. and of course, i wanna tone up and get some definition. so i'm hitting the gym everyday. and on weekends, i'll head up to tagaytay highlands by my lonesome and have some recreation [swimming, basketball, gym, boxing, jogging, etc]
hamstering. here's the one i really should be doing a lot less but i still end up doing the most. self-explanatory. kain-tulog lifestyle.
yup, there you go. my dream summer. my aspirations and goals. and i'm hopinh i could achieve at least half of it. hehehe. wish me luck. and i hope everyone has a, uhh, less complicated summer than i do.
the adventure ended at 12:54 PM
Sunday, March 27, 2005
pictures. more and more pictures.this'll be a lot. it would be so much easier if i had a photo album.
*graduation*pre-graduation. nice
barong dude.
entering the culminating activity. weird.
yup. since i'm an
Abastillas, i get to stay at the top-most corner. how crappy.
batch
MMV minus joel.
that's my dude greg giving his
valedictory address. another
picture.
now it's greg receiving his very MANY
awards.
the
honorees.
naks. haha. marching for
honors.
my parents helping me out with
my sash.
intense
singing.
graduate na
ako!
[okay, time for MY pics]
me and
pussy [pronounced as Poo-see]. haha. nah, his real name's ralph.
reniel, jau,
and yumpi.
matt
the hottie, jay-pee, and skilli.
peace
be with you.
who's that man on
the top of the pic?
the
boys. well, some of em.
si jau eh,
intense!
me and my giant,
mama. look how LARGE he is!
carly, argie, cholo, kriz, george, markit's pussy, kim
the papa, and me.
uy,
si jeron yun ah!
the first circle picture
thingie. astig! haha. but not as good as the original.
what would my lovelife be
without this guy? [prolly even worse] hahahaha. kidding dude! [shit, am i THAT small?? mico didn't use to be that tall]
iba na talaga kung
sikat ka na! hahaha.
my dude greg
and my dude chino.
fil.
the god of basketball.
LSGH boys. who the fuck is that head??
si cobi eh, may sarili pang
camera!
an intense
picture.
me and tim, or known better as totski.
putik. mag-isa na lang ako ah.
san ba talaga kayo nakatingin?
the bright lights. we've
graduated. and it can't get any better nor worse than this.
jau: haaay. nasaan kaya
si RG?
the boys. kaya lang,
malabo. joel, nasaan ka?
2nd circular picture thingie [failure].
3rd.
4th.
bree, tim, jay-pee,
and poosee. hehehe.
jau, a gay
porn star in the making.
hindi... ako... urgh...
kita!!!
yeah! that's
kriz and i!
easy lang!
mahuhulog na kayo eh!
chino's
boys.
can someone tell me who the guy on the
lower left is?
with
bro. oca! hahaha.
the
family.
hehehe. whee! i'm a graduate!
*trip to mindanao*this is funny. my mom's going like, "smile with your teeth! like this" and i'm like,
"YAAAWN!"that's nothing but my big
bald head.
belat!
we were racing with this other boat, but it overshot its engine. tuloy.
burn, mother, burn!!!
mom
and dad.
getting impatient.
do you know what those
white orbs mean? a digicam releases some sort of electormagnetic blah blah when you take pictures and therefore exposes certain ectoplasmic blah blah on your pictures. ghosts i say, GHOSTS!!
my sisters
on a beach.
my sister tried to direct these artsy pictures. pretty funny!
one.
two.
damn. you can see my nippies and my abs/flabs
here. yuck man. i am a gross-of-a-man.
on a
tarway.
i'm thinking, "masakit kaya
makagat ng shark?"
"ano kaya mas masakit,
sharkbite o bite ng taong may ngiping sira-sira na?"
me and my
hot sister. uhhh, not really.
... and suddenly, a bird
craps on me.
throwing rocks to sea.
i found these
on the sand. hahaha. i kept the "A". maybe i'll give it to someone.
meme na ako.
hehehehe. this is
funny. "TV... TV... bored... need... TV!"
i'm SO heavy, i
broke my bed. seriously.
on a
carabao ranch.
hmmm, carabaos
like to smile pala.
my baby! haha. cute
kid.
this is funny. we're using our
magic fingers and chanting "look here! look here!" to our dad who's talking with someone. [weird family]
the result of said magic finger chanting.
hot pool. i
MEAN HOT! i mean puwede ka na talagang gumawa ng kape! stay in it for more than 5 mings, you're numb the whole day na!
cave explorer.
whoops!
another white orb!
i want
that car!!! traffic wouldn't be a problem! just run everyone over!
fully geared
to raft!
whee!!! jumping
for my life!
the
rafters.
hmmm. one of the very MINOR
rapids. the bigger ones are.. uhh, bigger.
waterfalls!
the lunch crew.
one of the girls here was sooo flirtatious!
very very
weird smile here.
check
my face here. it's like, "what? picture again? ano baaaa."
hehehehe.
batugan!
**
finally! natapos din! agh! hirap nun ah! anyway, i am now very very NOGNOG! hahaha. but worth it, had so much fun. hehehe. so summer is now upon us and i'm free to do whatever i want! hmm, what to do next... basta, i made a vow! to lose 17 pounds by june! hahahaha. kaya toh! well, that's it for now.
oh yeah, PS, i've given up. finally! i've given up on everything! go with the flow and party na lang. hahaha.
the adventure ended at 10:13 PM
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
i'm sorry i haven't been blogging. truthfully, tinatamad ako. and the thought of leaving the blog to rot for a while has crossed my mind. buuuut, i thought otherwise.
what's new? not much except everything.and so, having blogged a mere 9-10 days ago, life's suddenly taken a sudden swerve at full speed and it makes me feel dizzy, but at the same time, thrilled and amazed. grad practices. baccalaureate mass. friday night adventure/tripping with the guys [never ever get mon drunk again]. graduation day.
i'm still a lasallian. in my heart will beat the blood of a true green lasalista. animo.
to my family, through hell and high waters, we've always been there through everything. love you guys. [oh, and thanks for the grad/birthday gifts. hehehe.]
to batch MMV, especially to the guys/fegs/feds/fags/boozers/cool dudes/booze of men/women/men/mama/boats/friends/peeps/bois of 4A '05, 3E '04, 2G '03, 1I '02, thanks for everything. you guys/fegs/feds/fags/boozers/cool dudes/booze of men/women/men/mama/boats/friends/peeps/bois have made me who i am now. thanks.
i'm sorry i don't have pictures right now, the bluetooth's busted. i had about a hundred pictures to upload pa naman. [halata bang i'm tamad to write the stories?]
kolehiyal..ohmm, now comes the hard part. where do i go for college? i've set my mind on AdMU na, but then, lately, there have been reasons for me not to go to AdMU and enroll in UP or DLSU instead. i have a few weeks to decide.
universal... studios?is it all fake?
they tell you that no matter what happens, the universe will, one day, unfold as it should and everything will start making sense. all the why's and why not's will be answered and everything you're looking for will be found. it's a natural law, a science.
but is it all fake?
maybe it is. and we're all just doomed. any non-believers in the house? hi joel.
i have so much reason to believe. yet so little will to. my once sturdy, steadfast faith has somehow been reduced to something to appease me through dark days. the belief that something better will come out everything. hmmmmm. damn it. i want my faith back. someone save me.
traumai'm afraid to try. i'm afraid to fail. "you never know until you try." sometimes, it's not worth knowing.
**
soooo tamad. hmm, i'll be going outta town this wednesday, so this might be my last blog again for a while. i promise i'll update more often after this. hehe.
the adventure ended at 12:25 AM
Saturday, March 12, 2005
try-ing seventeenwhee. i'm actually a year older! funny, i don't feel any older. hahahaha. but then, when i think about it, from my birthday last year, lots of things have already changed. damn. makes me wonder about how different things will be 364 days from now. wow.
anyway, when it's your birthday, tradition dictates that people WILL give you gifts. though that's not always the case, and even though you don't really wanna expect something, there's always something inside of you [even if it remains inside of you] that says "today is YOUR day. everyone will love you today. you will be getting lots of presents today. just for today, you are immortal." wow. weird huh? that's my seven-year old evil self talking. and so, i didnt really ask for anything from anyone because the gifts didn't really matter to me. what mattered to me was the fact that i survived another year and i'm allowed to celebrate it with the people i love.......
ah fuck it, i wish i had more gifts! hahahaha. nah, kidding. [seriously. i was kidding.... not. {yeah, i was actually kidding. hehehe. kulit.}]
i remember last year, the only things i asked were a surprise party [i've never had one until last year] and for the internet at our place to be up and running efficiently. now, as simple as these may be, i still believe that these things were so much better than the cars and travel trips and gadgets guys my age would ask for [my sub-consciousness:
"yeah, you're just saying that cuz you've never received cars, travel trips nor gadgets!" *j attacks his sub-consciousness, pins him, strangles him, and kills him*]. but hey, the smaller you dream, the easier it is to achieve! and so, as it went, i got i wanted last year! hahahaha.
[mutter] stupid sub-conscious-self-know-it-all [/mutter]this year, i didn't ask for anything. sure, i'd cough every now and then, and my cough would somehow distinctly resemble the word "i-pod" but hey, i wasn't all intense about it. what did i get? i got the best things. i got to spend some time with my mom in the morning in megamall. we went and prayed in the chapel there and bought some stuff for the birthday sleepover thingie later on. and she even got me a couple of dvd's even though she loathes it whenever i sit on my ass at home with an emerging beer belly, a five o'clock shadow, and chips and coke everwhere while i watch useless cartoon re-runs or movies i've watched over and over again. awwww. now that's love. i got a nice little personally-made bead bracelet from my classmate, which i have uninstinctively worn since he'd given it. [yeah, its's gay] i got an expensive perfume from greg... yeah, uh, well....... that's greg eh. hahahahaha. hmmm, i got an unexpected call that just brightened up my day [and days to come even] and put stars in my eyes all night. yay. hahaha. and best of all, i got to eat, drink and be merry with my friends all night [not to mention, be uber emo and sentimental about present problems and past experiences] maybe for one last time., before college parts us all. wah.
paradise is not a place that you look for. it's a moment when you know that you're part of something really great and your whole life, no matter how shitty it is, is worth living and enjoying to the fullest. and when you find that moment, it sticks and lasts forever.
paradise is a birthday.
anyway, i wanted sooooo much to get drunk and be super wasted last night. but, after about 7 san migs and half a liter of red horse, all i got was a very, very slightly disoriented balance and a somewhat churning stomach. i didn't feel any different. doesn't really qualify as "bangag" so, i was actually slightly disappointed. hahahaha. anyway, here's a list of birthday resolutions or better, things to do as a 17 year old.
things to do as a 17-year old1) drive, drive and drive. [i need food from jollibee down the street, i bring the car out, blast up the radio, fill it up with gas, go around in circles in the municipal hall area for two hours, then remember that there was actually food at home to begin with. i go home and realize that the food at home is rotteing and cold. the process repeats.]
2) regularly watch r-18 movies just for the sake of feeling proud and making fun of the movie ticket seller for thinking i'm one year older
3) countdown to how many days are left before i'm legal enough to be in a porn movie and to how many days are left until the no.2 thing expires and becomes stupid [364 days and counting...] wow, so soon! hahahahaha.
4) be more mature [oh, yeah right. this is going well.]
5) travel to a foreign land alone. [this is pending]
6) realize that i have two more numbers left for teenage life
7) ah, nga pala, go to college din pala. hahaha
anyway, it's a stupid list. hahaha.
memories imprintedhere're pics from my birthday.
mike, chino and mico. sabogis.
funny faces.
mico's
redness.
redhorse
beer aaand... redhorse. [very very long explanation]
jeron and his
thai adventures about coke/water bottles, darts and balloons.
gello! sister!
tagay naman diyan.
hahaha. halatang
sabog/inaantok na. tsk tsk tsk.
hanging out upstairs. emo talks,
memories, jeron's DOTA etc.
lonely
chino.
the
aftermath. hahaha.
**
that's all. hahaha. one last week of being in LSGH. haaay.
the adventure ended at 7:36 PM
Sunday, March 06, 2005
sorry for not blogging sooner. my longing for hiatus has momentarily eclipsed my "intense-ness" [nope, not intensity] to blog. hahaha. but now, things have finally started to sink in. things like the fact that it's all over. sooo, bear with me, this is gonna be a long entry.
our daysi remember my very first day of highschool. i went to school, started going around trying to look for my classmates. and i remember that i was so amazed that i was wearing black pants already. hahaha. i had no idea what my life was gonna be like from that point. it was a strange, scary feeling. but it was the good-scary type of feeling. it led to four years of tragedy, comedy and realization and it's been the best days of my life. i guess i'm gonna feel that way again in a couple of months. let's hope.
the last day of school wasn't really all that special. i had just found out that our teacher would pick whichever was the highest between our exam grades and our class standing grade to be our final grade. best teacher ever. and so, without any pressuer, i willingly failed the 83rd and last exam of my higschool life. hehehe.
i went home. but then, it just wouldn't sink in me.. that it was over. i still had this feeling that tomorrow would be another day when i'd put on my uniform, buy over-priced cafeteria food, answer a couple of tests and hang-out with people i've known pretty much all my life. but wow, days like those are over.
i'm speechless. i can't seem to explain everything i'm feeling about this. towars the cours of the school year, i've been asking people, "dude, iiyak ka ba sa graduation?" most answered yes, otehrs said they didn't know. i think most will. and on this day, we will finally forget everything that stood among us. no more honors and non-honors, no more cool dudes and losers... we will all, finally, for once, be called ONE batch, batch 2005.
thesis paper deathwell, soooo, school was over. everything had been said and done... well, not everything! imagine, me standing and freedom/summer/fun is right in front of me, i can reach it, touch it, hell, i can breathe it in! but then, imagine a HUGE brick wall in between me and that freedom.... call it the Filipino thesis paper.
if you combine the two laziest people in class and give them a REEEEAAAALLY big project to do, what do you expect to happen? can't think of anything? that's right, neither can i! hahaha. i have no idea why joel and i were partners on the thesis. with two days before the submission, we had only accomplished say..... NOTHING. haha. and to think we've been going to each other's places to do our thesis for quite some time, and we always stay until mga 12AM! but still, we do nothing. talk about the kings of procrastination.
thursday night.
we had some progress on the thesis paper already. and friday would be the submission of everything. things were going pretty well, we just had to do our individual assignments, combine them all, and we'd be finished. but then, fortune favors everyone else. right after spanish class [yes, i have spanish class. it's a family affair actually], joel calls me.
Joel: "dude, sorry ah, pero you hafta do everything na."
J: "what the hell?"
Joel: "i have to pack, my mom just had a stroke and now i have to go to the states."
J: "what? when?"
Joel: "as soon as possible. uy, sorry ah, i know it'a lot of work." [yes. yes it is.]
J: "yeah, sure sure, sige dude. bahala na si batman."
Joel: "what the fuck is with that saying?"
J: "i dunno."
and so, the brick wall just kept growing and growing. i had one night to do everything. whee. hahaha. and what did i do when i got home? i slept soundly! hahahaha. galing noh? ok lang, my nice teacher [bongiad? nice????] gave me an extension of one day, understanding the situation.
anyway, friday was thesis day. i worked on it all day [jau helped me some] working on it all day actually means that i worked mga 5 mins and then i'd bum around for 30 mins. hahahaha. galing noh? anyway, the brick wall would steadily decrease. and by 4am of saturday, finally, i could reach out and touch freedom! yipee! hahahaha.
on my way to school that day to submit our thesis and to help out in the preparations of our gradball, i got emo. this was the final requirement for highschool! eto na! last na toh! hahaha, and what a way to go! hahahaha. anyway, i'm glas it's over and i no longer care what grade our paper gets.
goodbye to boozeso joel went to the states.
he called me thursday night and the next morning he was on a plane already. sad. wala man lang proper goodbyes with his friends, a nice despedida, he wasn't able to go to out gradball, nor will he even march on graduation day. [whoops! have i just made you cry joel? hihihi. kidding dude! don't worry, you ain't missing much]
and so, our group has once again dwindled in number. and ngayong pang when we could all celebrate our last times. throughout the gradball and even at the post grad-ball hang out at metrowalk, we kept on doing commemorative actions, toasts, and even exposure of naked pictures of joel. hahahahaha.
goodbye booze! hope to see you soon. wala na kaming dakilang transpo ngayon. damn.
graduation ballthe culminating event to a year full of different experiences. could i just say that the set up of the whole place was fantastic. and the food was great! great value for money. the SACB really outdid themselves [hehehehe] the program was a little stupid though. maybe it was cuz of the emcee. hahaha. oh, and the music was cut short. damn it. hahaha.
anyway, it was really fun. but then, it was also medjo weird. i saw someone there i had tols myself to never talk to, nor even look at again. reasons are not to be disclosed. and it was so hard to fulfill that promise to myself. but i guess i went through the night doing so. buti na lang! haaaay. hahaha. goodbye mary jane watson. *j smiles. he is content*
summersummer is finally here! there are so many ways to spend it! but then, i started with the best one of all. monday, today, was my first official day of summer. already i've forgotten what the hell the derivative of a derivative is. what did i do on this day? i woke up at 4pm. yup. batugan na toh! haven't done that in such a long time and it's too damn refreshing, if given the opportunity, i'd probably be able to stay in bed for two days! hahahaha.
things i COULD do this summer.
1) beach. doesn't matter which beach.
2) repertory. miss the reppers terribly.
3) travel with my parents. i think they're going to the scandinavian countries and russia or something.
4) go to australia as an exchange student. naaahhh.
5) learn the piano.
6) take voice/dance lessons.
7) think of a nice way to keep a steady flow of income. hmmmm.
8) do nothing. be a hamster.
frankly, i believe the last one is the most plausible. hahahaha.
summer has never tasted so bittersweet. but still, let's focus on its sweetness. hahaha.
painting a thousand wordspictures.
emo boys joel, mico and i during the last sleep-over at my place. we had emo talks the whole night. literally. now, us taking pictures of the
broken dawn.
with ernest, my ex-seatmate-bestfriend through out the first half of the schoolyear. umm, mike is in the background.
the class seatplan. awwww. can you see where i am? i'm beside the two mico's. hahaha. if you can see the erased statement on top of the seatplan, that says "MAMA has chicks" hihihi. joel and chino put it.
haha. this is
my seat. see, we in bashaune group [that's the right corner of the class. mico, mico, nathan, shaun, andre and i] all have stickers c/o andre. and hell, who could disagree with art? hahaha.
i love
this picture.
our building. wala lang. might never get the chance to take a picture of it again.
playing around
in the SACB room.
gradball set-up.
one.
two.
three.
four.
andre and chino at the gradball. i hate the night shot feature in my phone, it ruins the quality.
tricia and i.
the boys. yee-ahh!
more pictures soon. once i get the actual gradball pics. hehehe.
**
so, it wasn't really that long! i just condensed everything cuz i'm too tamad to write every little thing! hahahaha.
the adventure ended at 8:42 PM
