Sunday, January 30, 2005
reconciliation and dreams
well, our family's complete again. at least for now. and i'm glad. are things still shaky and weird? nah. it's actually a good thing. things stabilized again. anyway, my dad's into this toallt new thing and it's freaking me out.
my dad wants to start a family dynasty.
it's all we ever talk about at the dinner table. talks about the gokungwei, ayala, and other families who have made quite a nest-egg over the past generations. i really don't mind being in a family dynasty, but then.. us? wala lang, at this point, i don't think anyone in the family has that capability to establish such an empire. which leades to another weird point.
my parents want me to marry someone who's prolific.
note: the word
marry has never been associated with me in any conversation.. ever. prolific? prolific?? really? prolific? they want me to be an industrious baby-making machine? and they want me to marry someone who's willing to undergo such a task? goodness. the pressure of being the only boy in a family whose name is fading away. i say, "but ma, mahirap magka-anak ngayon!" mom and dad say, "well, don't worry about it! as long as they're good kids, that won't be a problem." hehehe. kaboom. that's all i needed.
i never really thought about marriage and kids, and whenever i do, it's merely a faint cluster of colors in the back of my mind. before this morning's conversation with my parents, i saw myself getting married at age 26 with a woman who's perfection personified [hey, we can all dream..] start a family of three kids, two boys and a girl.. but then, now, with the go signal and a lot of prodding, 6 kids doesn't sound all that bad anymore. hehehehe. but then, until i grow a LOT older, all this is nothing but that cluster in the back of my head.
betrayed in a funny and disturbing way
some of my friends destroyed me the other day. it was saturday and i had a whole day booked. meet up with some friends and catch up, then meet up with some other friends and organize a surprise birthday thing, then meet up with another group and go to this concert. el gimikero strikes again. the surprise went on successfully [happy happy birthday reg!], the concert went on nicely [too much rock for me though] except for the fact that my friend andre is now considered a 'black hawk down' rather than 'the eagle has landed' hehehehe. but then, my meeting with the first group was crap.
see, with this group, "the kroo", arguments and fights are a way of life. it's what the foundation of the group is based upon. it gets serious sometimes that friendships get strained, and eventually, broken. but then, what was lost can be regained. and so, the cycle continues. the other night was just another leg in the cycle. but a big, fat, chunky leg of it..
i can't really disclose all the details here for the interest of privacy and respect. i'll just put it in vague form.
so my friend arns and i start fighting [i forgot the reason] and we start calling each other names and piss each other off by involving people we care about [i'm such a stupid ass with them] and he goes and says something that totally desolated me about someone i used to care a lot about. basta. and he told me that this has been going on for quite a while, and i was the only one who dind't know about it. he even showed me some proof [eew, proof.] anyway, this kinda got me pissed. the fact that THIS has been going on behind my back, the fact that two of my closest friends are involved in it, and the fact that everyone knew about it except me. urgh [eew, mental picture].
anyway, i overreacted [kind of a subtle word] and went on with my day, trying my best to leave it behind me. and i successfully did until that night when i was with mico, mico, and andre at the concert. the mental picture haunted me.
the next day, arns texts me. "dude, joke lang yun. i mean, none of that really happened. sorry i overreacted. and the proof thing.. that wasn't real." and i say to myself, "fuck." i didn't know what to believe. and i had already told my other friend [the one involved] that i knew what was going on and stuff. urgh. anyway, i dind't bother replying. i'm kinda hoping things will fix itself [though i know that will never happen] so i'm laying low and not communicating with anyone from the group.
i don't know how else to react other than a quiet smirk and a few chuckles. it's a little funny. hehe. it's twisted, stupid, and totally destructive of bonds, but still, it's a little funny if you think about it. hehehehe.
sleepless nights
no, not out of depression. i've been a baranggay tanod for the past couple of nights! wow! since our school doens't have CAT [bless LSGH for that], we have to engage in baranggay involvement. it's SUPPOSED to be a long-term thing which should have started december of last year, but being the procrastinator that i am, i took care of it on the last weekend. amazing noh? hahaha. bait nga nung mga baranggay officials eh. they said if i became a tanod for at least 30mins, they would fill up my certification paper with lotsa stuff already. whee! pero nahiya naman ako, kaya sinigurado ko na magtatanod ako for at least the weekend. hence, i am dying without sleep. add the factor that i was out friday night [went out with the guys and watched elektra] and all of saturday. wahoo! and now, it os 1030pm and i am still up. i am gonna pass out in school tomorrow, i can feel it.
**
that's it for now. i'm out. [btw, UP results are out this week. good luck to you all.]
the adventure ended at 10:35 PM
Monday, January 24, 2005
eventful weekend.
well, had a pretty eventful weekend. it was a great example how the natural law of things plays out. nothing is all good,and nothing is all bad. if a string of good events happen, it only mean something bad is coming up.
thursday. the last day of exams. math, of course, was a complete failure. but it didn't matter. the night before, knowing that math would be hopeless, i made the filipino test a career development. hahaha. so the filipino test was REALLY hard, but then, i think i did pretty well.
hung out with some classmates at home afterwards. the usual. blah.
friday. slept through out the morning. in the afternoon, got ready and my classmates and i headed for alabang. seeing it to be much too early to go to the soiree, went to town first and hung out. haha. it was funny. a group of like 11 guys walking around town. met up with some reppers there as well. felt really bad that i couldn't join them in reg's birthday thingie. damn. dami kong utang kay reg. hehehe.
that night, soiree with woodrose. hehe. well, i guess all there is to say is that all of us had a really great time. and i mean GREAT the way tony the tiger would say it. "lean back." pictures
here.
later that night. some guys and i crashed at my place. can i just say how weird we were that night laready? sabog talaga. kung ano-anong hirit. you'd think we were high or something. hehehe. "
bad cheetah!" hehehehe. went to bed at around 4 already.
saturday morning, stayed in, hung out with my classmates who remained. in the afternoon, went with joel to watch the fockers. great movie. could relate cuz my dad is nothing less than robert de niro's character. haha.
saturday night. concert at UP theatre with the guys [chino, greg, and joel]. had some trouble asking permissioon for this but then, lucky enough, my mom was good to me. [haaaaay!] hmmm, nina, the akafellas, paolo, jimmy and nyoy. [i just had to scream "P*****" when nyoy came out. hahaha] after that packaged set came RIVERMAYA. oh yeah baby. sucked though cuz they only played a few lines of their classics. haha.
here it goes, after a string of such fun, carefree events comes the big SHIT of it all.
we were still supposed to hang-out [curse the term chillax] at my place [now, how many times has "my place" been involved with all that's happened?], but then, the plan went kabonkers when chino wasn't allowed anymore so it was just joel and i who headed home.
and what do i [and joel. poor joel, in the midst of it all.] come home to?
my sisters were downstairs crying, grueling at the aftermath that had just happened [thank God i missed it]. doyti's words to me as i ascended the stairs, "shhh. ma and pa just fought. it's serious." gauw? going up the stairs, i collided with my mom who was also crying, carrying her handbag which apparently had all her checkbooks, savings accounts information, her passport, and money in it. my words [so plain and astute], "hi ma. [hug] bye ma." haven't seen my mom since. am i a freak or what?
and so, joel and i hung out in my room while the abastillas family was being destroyed. amazing. it's not that i didn't care. it's not that i liked the things that were happening. it's not that i don't want this fmaily to stay together, i guess it's just with the way things have been lately, i saw this as an impending event that would more than likely happen.
my dad's been friggin' weird lately. [well, he's always been, but lately, it's dawned to a new level] see, he's been so malabo/inconsistent/fickle-minded with everything. in work, in decision-making, etc. with my mom and sister working with him 24/7, you can tell it would kinda get on your nerves. now, ever since, we've always sdjusted to his demands and stuff, but lately, he's just been TOO malabo/inconsistent/fickle-minded. this leads to the fact that he has a superiority complex and thinks that no matter what happens, he is always the right one. which of course leads to the fact that he never listens and never tries to understand. so there's no use arguing/reasoning with him. i guess i can't blame my mom for doing what she did. [rex navarrete: der wur lats of stros end i ges dis was da last wan!] haaaay. but damn, i miss her already. haven't texted/called her since. i love my parents both, but then, i guess this just tests my strength and how i'll be able to handle myself in such a situation. and how did i??
while my sisters were all crying and stuff [and ended up going to starbucks to recollect and get away from the location of heartbreak and disbanding], joel and i were in my room, casually talking and watching a walk to remember on hbo. nonchalant eh? like i said, it's not that i didn't care or anything, but i knew that eventually, something like this would happen.
two days without a mom and it's been tough already. all the little things i'd talk [only] to my mom about i'd hafta do it with my dad or my sisters. the warm feeling and reassurance i get seeing her when i come home from a bad day is gone indefinitely. i don't think this is gonna last anyway.
BREAKING NEWS: just two seconds ago, my eldest sister passes by and says, "mommy's coming back tomorrow." and i'm like, "gauw?" "well she texted and said, 'see you tomorrow.'" fuck. can there be a greater timing than that? hahahaha. but still, things won't be the same around here. but it's okay, i'm fine with change. change is always good in the long run.
"the universe tends to unravel as it should." - harold and kumar
***
hehehehe. this has been a stupid blog entry.
anyway, i finally got the USB cord for my camera and the next time i blog, i'll post my pictures from africa, and from the soiree as well. hehehe.
how many people have changed you?
in the course of your undergoing maturity, how many people have you allowed to change you? does every person you meet have a drastic effect in your life? my friend arns once told me that you only let one person change you entirely while the others are all just mini-molders of who you are. yes, your friends, your family, your girlfriend/boyfriend, they all contribute to your identity. but they merely add up to form who you are. they're pieces of the puzzle of you. but my friend told me [of course. what would he know? he was high at the time.], that once in your life, you'll meet someone [doesn't have to be a love interest, a friend. heck, could even something you see on tv] who'll pick up your puzzle and destroy it. your puzzle will be completely wrecked and there will be nothing nice about it. i mean, come on, you've been destroyed! but here comes the good part, a new puzzle of you is made. made entirely by that one thing or person. and once it's done, it's something new, something different, a new puzzle that you'll stop to look at whenever you pass it by posted on the wall. he said that this could only happen to you once, and most times, it doesn't even happen to people. only to those lucky ones who are willing to risk all they have for something they've never had before.
wow. these came from a man who no longer goes to school and was topped off by weed at the time. hah. but hell, he makes a good point if you really dig in to what he had to say [hafta tell you, took me quite a while to actually get him]. and actually, i wouldn't mind a new puzzle. maybe not now. cuz, i guess my first puzzle isn't even completed yet. but once it is, i'd get bored. hahaha. and i'd love for a new one. hahahaha.
the adventure ended at 7:18 PM
Thursday, January 20, 2005
haven't blogged two days in a row in a while. haha. i finally have time.
first and foremost,
happy birthday to regina claravall. may all your birthday wishes come true, you hot dancer, you.
it's over.
yes. i can breathe. my belt has been loosened. though i know i failed several of the exams, i'm happy that they're over. and my scores in them [at least right now] don't matter to me. wahoo. *disgruntled yay*
soiree anyone?
it's a staple for any highschooler to have soirees somewhere along the line. but when you reach senior year, [well, maybe for me] it gets weird already. i dunno. it's that stage where you feel like you've outgrown something, but you also still feel you're in that phase [and you actually are]. like cartoons. i'm never gonna get over cartoons. i've just moved up to more mature shows in addition to cartoons... like wild boys, game k n ba, lovers in paris. you know, real show-hook-ups. hehehe. but seriously.. see, we've a soiree tomorrow night and from as far as i can remember, we haven't had an actual [successful] one since last year. i don't mind it or anything, but then, parang now, with all of us graduating na, it's weird to have one again. hehe. but then again, fuck dude, we're all gonna graduate in two months and we should be enjoying as many of these things as possible! hehe. :)
lost for words.
i dunno what to say. i'm so compelled to blog and to update this but i've nothing to write in it. besides the exams, usual hang-outs with friends, nothing special has been happening.
a whole new world.
my sister's having the time of her life in new york. i kinda envy her. i've always said i hated traveling and i never wanted to leave this country, but then, recently, i've sort of changed my opinions. it's not really the going around nice tourist spots, taking-in-scenes-and-experiencing-stuff-that-only-a-handful-of-people-ever-will that annoys me, i actually enjoy those things. it's the 24-hour travels, the crappy plane food, the packing/unpacking/packing of bags, being with the same group of people 24/7, the restrictions of just being in a tour group, the hectic schedules. if i were to travel, i'd go to one place alone and stay there for a while. [a while = indefinite] that way, the whole place will actually sink into you. if i were to travel, i don't wanna be
visiting a place for a while, i wanna be
living in it for a while. i guess i've always enjoyed traveling. just not in the sense that the rest of my family sees it.
so now, i guess i wouldn't mind living in another country for a year or so after i graduate. live as a poor, day-today man, work a minimum-wage job [wait tables in a different language {so cool}], meet countless beautiful women [right], and to have a new culture implanted in me.
destination: spain/south america
perfect. that was why i've been planning on taking Spanish early in college and keep on refining it until i've mastered the tongue. and with the family planning a summer trip to either of the two places, i've really been prodded. astig eh!
sleepiness.
i've been lacking sleep the past few days due to death-by-exams. i shall retire now. good night.
[putik, ang labo ko talaga. ;P]
the adventure ended at 10:11 PM
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
You Are 9 Years Old |
9
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
|
i didn't expect myself to be acting THAT young. i took the test again and went with some secondary answers and ended up with "you are 21 years old." hmm. interesting.
exams.
they're a bitch. seriously. and i'm so glad that after tomorrow, they're over [at least for this quarter]. i am gonna fail in trigo though, but i'm still gonna study a bit and try my luck. i don't mind failing, but i kinda wanna know that i actually tried [even just a little]. that way, i'm not a complete loser. [i have such stupid philosophies on life]
anyway, that's all for now. i'm probably gonna update this again tomorrow anyway. that's all.
the adventure ended at 8:06 PM
Saturday, January 15, 2005
new skin.
just felt a change in scenery. the stars were getting old. and yes, that
IS me in the pic. i was aiming to have a jumping-over-the-cliff pic [cuz that
is actually a cliff over water and rocks], but it looks more like a running-through-the-endless-desert pic. i'm getting addicted with making blogskins. my most recent work is
jau/kriz's blog. haha. cool ba? blogskin maker here. any takers? tell me what you all think. hehehehe.
exam week.
another exam week is upon us. it's a saturday. everyone's studying right now, and i should too. but have i ever studied an exam before the preceeding day of the given exam? nope. why should i break the cycle now? i'm a master-procrastinator-hamster. and i think i always will be. a big
"good luck na lang sa'yo sa college." my sub-conscious says. i've told myself that i wouldn't be a grade-conscious student in college, that i'll focus on extra-curriculars, and basically squeezing in as many experiences as possible. well, we'll see when we get there.
plug.
just a quick plug to all HS seniors who are reading this blog. see what you feel after reading the "this couldn't possibly end" entry of
chino's blog. *sob sob*
grad song not playing?
it isn't playing huh? damn geocities. crappy. lemme just look for a better host for the song, then i'll post it again.
today.
today's been a very idle day at home. and those don't come by very often anymore. i guess i should try to enjoy it. maybe catch up on some sleep, do stuff at home, but then.. i crave to go out. i really do. but the thing is, there's no one to go out with. everyone's busy. i
am supposed to go out with sila chino tonight, but i'm still not sure. plans are still shady. argh. i need one LAST release before the impending death exams will wreak upon me.
further, further emoness.
last night, i was with chino, joel and mon at home. wala lang. we were just hanging out [aKa
chillaxing. powtek na term yan o!] and stuff. and we talked all about highshool and even further down to gradeschool and kindergarten. stuff like chino remembering, all the way back in kinder graduation, joel making a freaky speech.... "[ditsy, high-pitched, accented speaking] parents, teachers, friends... WELCOME!" hahaha. i wasn't there, but i laughed a lot when chino told us how he remembered it.
fudge. each day that passes is one day less until the rest of our lives.
***
nothing much to say actually. i'll hit back soon.
the adventure ended at 5:27 PM
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
.: grad song :.
people. click
here. NOW! this is our class' grad song. written by my good friend greg and performed by our very own, monje. asteeeeeg.
.: celebrity hunter :.
behold...
damn it. beside her, i look so obese. just a note, i'm not THAT fat, she's just THAT thin. we were in pier one at the fort last monday night for dinner, and suddenly, i spy with my little eye.. she's there on the other table! and so, i made a deal with my family that if in case we catch her on her won or anything like that, picture time. and i thought, 'eh, she's never gonna come near our table." [see, she was on the outside part of the restaurant smoking like a chimney while were inside, in the non-smoking area] amazingly, she received a phone call and rushes inside to speak to the person on the other line in silence. after the call, she started walking back to her table. this was the moment..
-> j's heart is throbbing as he approached her
-> j: excuse me, ms. [he is ignored] excuse me, ms! [she turns and smiles at j] hello. um, it's just that i'm a huge huge fan of yours and i was wondering if i could trouble you with a picture with me?
her: oh, sure. no problem.
j: [signals frantically at his sister to take the picture. faces her.] oh, btw, i'm jay. it's nice to meet you. [trying very hard to speak good english]
her: oh, nice to meet you too.
-> the picture is taken, the thanks is done and she walks back to her table. unfortunately, she passes by my less-than-sober dad. fudge.
-> dad: you know, [in a rowdy, drunken voice], my son is very fond of you! he's a big big fan and i told him that if he didn't approach you, i would and i'd even introduce him. guffaw guffaw.
-> she looks puzzled and weirded out, but still manages to smile and small talk a bit. she leaves, finally. the embarassment is over.
haha. it was actually quite funny. my dad drunk and all. hehehe. hmm, that was amanda griffin nga pala. hehehehe. kapal. i was thinking nga eh, i've guts to approach amanda griffin but in any other social congregation, i'm a torpedo. hehehehe.
.: school? what school? :.
school sucks. why? hmm. i know nothing. i haven't been listening in school. i mean it. nothing talaga. i have never been this lazy in school. EVER. i survive purely on last second cramming and stock knowledge. nothing matters to me anymore. i fail tests, i copy these homeworks, i do nothing. i guess i feel [although it would be contrary to people's morals {blech} and shit] that it doesn't have any bearing to me anymore. i've nothing more to lose.. and i'm glad. top 20 lang, and those student awards thingies, pero i'm just gonna say, "fuck it." that doesn't matter too much to me anymore. i'm just glad to even graduate and pass in my desired university. and i'm happy. even my teachers are losing their interest to teach. they just load us with so many projects and give us crap-undiscussed tests and stuff, but asides that, in class, we haven't really been doing anything. come on. for example....
*jay's uber-eventful monday adventures*
-> morning. flag ceremony. still had a sinat. had to make a mini-speech and emcee for the awarding ceremonies for the HS intramurals. i spoke like the dead while i was the emcee.
-> 1st period. VDP [values development program] aka nothingness-subject. did nothing. just sat there talking with apol and his intensity. the man who had an overuse of the word, "sibak" that period.
-> 2nd period. PE. had a written test that was just one big group test since everyone's so 'cooperative'. even our PE coach. played bball after and saw monje shoot six three-pointers in a row.
-> 3rd period. English. groupwork/discussion amongst ourselves. something that should last about 20mins lasted the whole period. another free period.
-> 4th period. Automotive. our teacher's absent. so what does our sub make us do? we watch 2Fast 2Furious.
-> 5th period. Christian Living. 2Fast 2Furious is carried over. we finish the whole movie, had a wee bit discussion which lead to the announcement that on our next meeting [which was today] we'd be watching Ants in the Pants [the german sex-comedy]. amazing.
hahahaha. 4th year's the best. everyone kept telling me 3rd year was gonna be the best year. nahhh. gotta be senior year. hehehe. i guess right now, in school, i'm just trying to squeeze as much time i have with my classmates and friends there. haaay. *emo*
**
i'll cut it here. see ya. i'll add more later.
the adventure ended at 6:34 PM
Sunday, January 09, 2005
i can't here the song playing. can you? too bad. i love it. there are only two songs on rotation in my playlist. collide by howie day and this year's love by david gray. highly recommended for people who wanna be all emotional and stuff.
.: EK trip :.
i got sick. damn it. it just HAD to rain that day. oh well. fun, nonetheless. hehe. pictures can be found
here. it killed me right after cuz i had this REALLY hassling take-home test to do. in the weak state our class was all in, we were all online that night, hassling ourselves and sharing answers and stuff. and the funny thing is, i finished at about 1130pm right? and so, since there wasn't any ink in the printer in the office, i put my file in a diskette. surprise, surprise. it corrupted everything. the whole test was wiped out. fuck. and so, with everyone offline by that time, i was left with no choice... i did it again. slept at 4am. fuck.
.: one down, three to go :.
well, my sister's leaving for the states on tuesday. she'll be taking up her [second] master's degree at NYU. she'll be there for two years... or so. i'm really happy for her actually. it's gonna be great. i guess it's just gonna be weird without her around. just like it was weir dwhen my oldest sister lived in singapore for a year and a half. she went back though, and i'm pretty sure ate pam's coming back after her course in the states. my parents can't let go of her though. it's really funny/annoying. it's like they have their own language. when they talk, there should be some sort of subtitle that pops up on the bottom of your screen.
dad: huwag kang palangga-langga dun ah! tell me what you're gonna do there everyday. you didn't tell me that your classes come from 6-9pm! what are you gonna do the whole day? that's gonna be very boring, very unrpoductive. you're violating one of the important commandments of this family on ebing unrpoductive and lazy. if you can't tell me what you're gonna do concretely, you don't go. i mean, it's very expensive and you're just gonna langga-langga there? blahdiblahdiblah. [repeats the word langga-langga about 10 times]
translation: don't go.
i read somewhere that parents never let go of their children, it's the children that let go of their parents. i guess at some point, that's true.
.: blue :.
i passed ADMU. *disgruntled yay* now i know where i'm gonna go for college. by the way, to all readers, just wanna commend my friend chino, who is currently collecting [yes, collecting] scholarships from different schools. DLSU, ADMU, Oblation scholar na lang kulang. hehe. anyway, it got me thinking that this was finally it. LSGH goes bye-bye. urgh. emo.
joel [uy, joel.. sadness], mon and i were checking out our group's website from 1st year and looking at our pictures, damn, how the years have passed, how much we've changed. i know i have. i look weirder and i've become weirder over the years. hehehe. it's really funny yet uber emo-nostalgic to be seeing them. check em out
here.
.: 4A does it again :.
we are the general champions! yup yup! amazing. i remember just posting how much of a disappointment it was to all of us. loss here, loss there... that is.. except for swimming! wahoo. we [AKA mark sarmenta. best swimmer of all] swept it all baby! eh each [individual] gold medal is worth 10 total points. winning gold in basketball will only get you 20 points. since there are 4 events in swimming, and we won not only 4 golds, but a silver and a bronze, our class got 52 of its 81 total points off the swimming team. saludo! hahaha. we ARE the winningest 4A ever.
**
screw this. whenever i blog, i always have so much to say but i always lack the time to say it. fudge. i've lots to do and i'm procrastinating again. oh well, gonna cut this short.
This years love had better last
Heaven knows it's high time
And I've been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can't go on
Turning circles when time again
It cuts like a knife oh yeah
If you love me got to know for sure
Cos it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies
Before I open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul
And when you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
So whose to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on
And won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
the adventure ended at 7:14 PM
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
sorry, still can't find the USB cable thingie. i'll post pictures soon. promise. and once our computer's internet is up and running again, it'll be much easier.
.: conversations :.
conversations with people lead to emo-ness. i was talking with raffy the other day. it seems he was getting bored of his relationship. why? [shit, i hope his gf doesn't read this. hehe. oh hell, even raffy doesn't] "everything's the same. everyday's the same. people keep saying that every day is different, that there's something new to look forward to everyday. the truth is [at least in dating], there isn't. life isn't like a romantic comedy flick where unlikely situations that turn into serendipity happen. 'sure, it is,' people would say. yeah, but not in the fashion that the fantastic world of movies has tattooed in our heads. you go out. you watch a movie. you eat. you chill. you talk and talk. you spend time at each other's place. you occasionally try something new [she cooks for you. you cook for her. you go to the beach. you go sky-diving. you make out] but the fact that you occasionally do something new makes it a cycle as well. and no matter what you do, no matter who you're gonna be with, it's always gonna be the same thing. those life-altering, life-threatening, opposites-attracting, plane-missing, job/studies-neglecting situations don't happen as often as you want them to." ... as raffy would say. yeah, i boosted the word power a bit, but generally, this is what he said. ooh, and he ended with saying, "..kaya ikaw, mambabae ka na muna! hassle ang gf, tsong!" bah. whatever dude! hahaha. pero know what, he's kinda right [about the first part]. we're not as free as we would be in movies and on tv. no matter how much we want to be, this is something we gotta accept. most people won't realize it and won't even mind it, but i guess raffy has a point if you really think about it. BI talaga yun. pinapaisip pa ako eh! haha.
.: two more months :.
i passed DLSU. *disgruntled yay* and tomorrow, i find out about ateneo. my future is about to be paved. i've my mind set on ateneo already, but in case i fail, it'll automatically be DLSU. so i guess tomorrow's a big day.
it's actually been bugging me lately. i'm about to graduate. and i keep thinking, 'did i spend my highschool right? did i squeeze my time in it to the last drop?' the answer is a 'no'. but it's okay, can anyone say yes to these questions? but still, it's something that's never gonna happen again. and besides, LSGH has been my 2nd home for more than 12 years. that's 3/4 of my life. now, it's time to let go. i guess monje's song really does mean something. [hi joel. hehe]
goodbye to half our childhood
we did the best we could
.: inspiration :.
i've been writing again. yes. don't worry, this blog will not be doomed to be a literary one. i've been writing a lot about all th emo-ness that's been happening and stuff. it feels kinda good to heave it out. but then, i get tamad to use a pen and a paper so i end up just using notepad na lang. hehehehe. there's a certain sense of pride and satisfaction that enters you knowing that you wrote something good. though no one will ever agree with you, it's okay. unlike some people i know, i now write for me. and no one else.
**
well, since we're all tumbling about to use this one computer in the office for our internet needs, i have to cut it short. [dami ko pa namang emo stuff na sasabihin] oh well. till next time.
the adventure ended at 8:33 PM
