Sunday, January 28, 2007
or something like itHere's the thing about life: Nobody really knows what to do with it. We just have to live it. Our entire existence, we keep instinctively searching for its meaning. What we don't understand is that the meaning of life cannot and will not be found/sought. The meaning of life is learned. It's a process. It's by living, it's by going through everyday that we make meaning out of it. We keep looking for its meaning as if it's a goal, a target. What we don't realize is that it is the journey, it is the arrow.
I just watched the movie Stranger Than Fiction this afternoon and after giving it a lot of thought, most times, life IS stranger than fiction. Everything that's real, everything that we feel, it's all so wonderfully absurd. All the emotions and fantastic situations we portray in fiction will never amount to the feeling that reality gives us. The rush, the thrill, the joy, the sorrow, the excitement, the fear, the compassion. And that, in a nutshell, epitomizes strangeness and irony. We think of the perfect screenplays, the most bogus storylines to imitate the lives we live adding all sorts of spices and everything in between, and yet, the simple plain truth of reality, without all the superpowers and deus ex machina's, will boggle us more than anything else. Forget the special effects, forget the emo scenes, look at your own life and how you're living it. They say that life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel. When you're in the middle of deciding which side your life is at now, it'll hit you: your life is all that. The darkest of all satirical comedies, and the most delightful of all tear-inducing tragedies.
Once, while we were hanging out, my friend Arns put me through this conversation that definitely changed my perspective on things.
Arns: Dude, quick! You only have 30 more seconds from now to live! What are you gonna do?
Jay: What?? What are you talking about?
Arns: 28... 27... 26...
Jay: What? We're gonna die?
Arns: You're losing time! What are you gonna do? Go! Go! These are the last moments of your life!
Jay: What???
Arns: 17... 16...
Jay: Okkhaaay. [looks at Arns weirdly]
Arns: Is this how you're living your life??? Go Go Go!
Jay: *thinks how completely and utterly insane Arns is*
Arns: 3... 2... 1... Aaaand you're dead.
Jay: Yay.
Arns: That's the problem with life. What if you really died after the 30 seconds?
Jay: Edi patay.
Arns: IF you knew you were really going to die, trust me, you would've done something else. But since we're so "sure" that we got it all figured out, this whole life-thing, that 30 seconds is not the only time we're given, we do nothing. And that's just sad.
[Yeah, of course I'm paraphrasing. No way my friend could talk like that. He isn't Gandhi or Jesus or anything. Goodness, I have strange friends.]
Think about it. Do we really know anything about life? We say this and say that, we give our expert advice on varied topics exclaiming that sheer experience and human know-how have given us the common sense to fathom the mysteries of life. But that is not the case. The truth is, we know nothing. God put us here, God created us and left us a message saying, "Here's life. Live it." It's like Christmas morning and we're all gathered under the tree opening our present. Our Father gave us this wonderful Zoids toy to assemble, but with no instuctions, no final-product picture; just that powerful and giving nature of love that a Father bestows on His children. It's up to us to assemble it. We work on it together. We share our different opinions on how this Zoid should look like in the end, where this screw should go, where this part should be connected. Yes, we might be right about it but we'll never really know until we reach the end, when we see the big picture, when we stand up, look at our completed Zoid and say with a smug smile, "Job well done." And that's what life should be all about.
the adventure ended at 9:32 PM
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
quarter-life crisisi look around and it seems that everyone's having his or her life in a state of shambles. it's as if the entire world has been devoid of anything good. the power of the hassles, problems and tears has overwhelmed all the things bright and beautiful. that cloud doesn't seem to have a silver lining. everyday we gain new experiences. right now, most of them seem to be so difficult and utterly hope-reducing. after each failed long test, each romantic dead-end, each family bicker-fest, we find ourselves a little less of who we are. i guess we're all a little bit empty. we're all a little bit unsatisfied. we're all a little bit incomplete.
i am currently watching the sunrise after one of the darkest, most difficult trials of my entire life. i ventured through quick-sand. one moment, i was walking along, blissfully treading through life when the next moment, i was caught in a death trap, sinking slowly, doing my best to hoist myself up, and failing miserably. most aspects of my life, the aspects i consider master statuses were all going haywire and i had no idea what to do to fix them.
and then what happened?
nothing. everything just passed.
every war has to end.
after the blood, screams and turmoil, what do we find? silence. peace. there may be 10,000 corpses beneath you, but it will be the most serenity you'll ever find. it's not all bad. wounds heal. chicks dig scars. and glory lasts forever. we're all in our quarter-life crises. let's not sugar coat it. people keep telling us, "it's okay. don't worry. it's not all bad. everything's going to be alright." but it isn't okay. we do worry. it is all bad. and nothing's going to be alright.... for the time being. dealing with it all just plain sucks. as every other person may attest to.
i'm all smiles right now. i can't help but smile whenever i hear an ode from any of my peers. sorry to say. not cuz of spite, not cuz of schadenfreude, just cuz i've got an idea what they're going through and i know that no matter how much it may suck at that particular moment, it's all gonna end anyway. once you're at peace with that, nothing's ever going to bother you as much. kind of like a zen-one-with-the-universe thing. haha.
anyway...
i haven't really written anything insightful [or productive for that matter] in a long while. i'm in one of those slumps again. i'm getting concerned because these slumps seem to be lasting longer and longer whenever they occur. and they occur a lot more often. i'm hoping to get back on track soon. part of it is that i've developed this sudden shame of letting people read all i have to say. i dunno. maybe it's cuz recently, i haven't really got anything good to say about anything or anyone so i guess it's better to just keep my mouth shut.
off to happier things...
the adventure ended at 11:16 PM
Sunday, January 07, 2007
for salei'm selling the following items. email me at
j.aventurero@gmail.com or just comment on the post if you're interested.
1)
Belkin Tunecast Auto for iPod (P2400 [neg.]) - an FM transmitter for the car. you can store 2 preset FM frequencies in it as presets. works as a charger as well. used for about 5 months and i've never ever had any trouble/problem with it. comes with the box. retail price is P3000-3300.
2)
Griffin iTrip (P2000 or P1800 + Jollibee or "kissabayhug/kissabayag" [according to dear Kaira]) - another FM transmitter for the car or any FM radio. handy-er and dandy-er than the Belkin. uses up the battery of your iPod a bit though. works with any iPod. brand new, never been used, still in box. retail price is P2800.
3)
Nokia 6270 (P13000 [neg.]) - about 10 months old. works like a charm. i sort of scratched off the silver-ness of the up-down-left-right keypad though, so now it's clear-colored. but it's evened out and still looks good. comes with the box and a 512mb MMC [and pictures/videos of me and my life].
4)
Flip-Flops - i've only got 2 remaining on sale: white, plain Old Navy's, men's, size 10 (P200) or white and pink, floral designed Havaianas, women's, size 39-40 (P400). both are brand new and have never been used.
5)
Myself (name your price...)
6)
2001 Honda Accord VTI (P370 000 [neg.]) - tip-top condition. silver colored. license plate ends with 2. 58k mileage. custom Sony Xplod radio. cute Elmo tissue dispenser. i'll toss in the Belkin [or the iTrip] for free if you get this particular item. haha.
7)
Globe Load/Credits - yes, i've got a Share-A-Load business.
**
no, i'm not in the middle of some drug deal/high-end wager gone terribly wrong. haha.
the adventure ended at 5:57 PM
