Monday, March 05, 2007
Isn't It A WonderIt's random blog-entry day!
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I haven't written a poem in months. I must admit I don't know if I'm any good anymore.
The Silver Man's Identity CrisisThe world flicked up between two fingers,
as it spins indefinitely,
tearing air then punching ground.
The man on one side,
calm and steady,
shimmering as silver tries the gold.
He looks to the skies,
Hoping,
or kisses the dirt,
Praying,
trying ever so
Desperately
To see
The other side of the world.
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I just have to share that Hammer Night was a success. I have never been that wasted in my entire life. It was a good feeling. Weird feeling.
Key sentences: (Speakers not disclosed)
"Oh, Is [toot] still coming? Maybe we should like, call [toot]?"
"Get me a fucking plastic bag, you fucking bitch."
"Yeah dude, it doesn't matter. She can have my car if she wants it."
" NINE! How many? NINE!"
"Dude, where's [toot]? I think I wanna make out with her."
"You guys better fucking clean me up!"
"*Gremlin Laugh*"
"Dude, I'm not like you. I... have self-control."
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My morality seems to be taking a hit as of late. As time progresses, I seem to be doing more and more things that get me farther and farther away from God (Exhibit A: Hammer Night). I don't even get to pray at night the way I used to anymore. No more usual after-school trips to Church. Heck, no more communion every Sunday. I always said that my faith would never falter. I still have conviction in that. But if you can't live out your faith, what's the point of saying you have it? Faith isn't lip service. I mean, I do try my best and help people, make people happy. But I'm limiting myself to people I know: my friends (mostly just my friends) and family. I should also be reaching out to people who really need it. Like the kids in my NSTP. God, I wish there were still NSTP every Saturday.
Excuse me, I have to go scourge myself now.
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My birthday's in six days. I had the chance to do something great. To hold a Jollibee party for underprivileged kids. But I suddenly chose not to. It's not because my org said that it wasn't possible since there were safety issues etc. etc. at the hospital I planned to throw it in, it's not because rounding up the NSTP kids from Holy Spirit Elementary school would be quite burdensome, it was because I was too lazy and selfish to do any of it. If I wanted to, I mean, if I REALLY wanted to, I could've done it anyway, made special arrangements. But I didn't. I don't know why I chose to have the usual Triple D at my place (Dinner, Drinks and Dance) with friends and loved ones. It's going to be a lot of fun, I know. But it sort of hurts me knowing that I could've made something of my birthday for once.
Excuse me, I have to go put on my cilice.
(Self-pity behind me, if you can read this, then you're invited to my birthday thing at my place on March 10, 2007. Feel free to bring your friends. Hah! I'm so bipolar.)
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I've sort of been a pretty good student as of late though. I mean, procrastination and sloth-ness aside, I think I'm doing pretty well considering the kind of effort I've been exerting.
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Anyway, here's an emo thought. Ever had a day when nothing all that big happens but by the end of it you've forgotten who you are and what you're doing exactly? And then you suddenly feel so lonely? Well, lately, I've been having days like those. I don't know. Has routine and my mundane existence finally caught up with me? Weird. I think I need to do something absolutely new to keep me preoccupied.
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Oh, and everybody, check
THIS out.
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Out of words.
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That's it for now, I guess.
the adventure ended at 7:01 PM
