Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Change The WorldAn entire world's perspective, its identity and personality, can change with a single discovery. It's almost instantaneous. 1500 years ago, everyone believed and even Science knew that the world was flat. We had every reason to. It was a fact. Just as the way we think, presently, that space-time is curved. But the world isn't flat, is it?
No really, is it? And is space-time curved?
No really, is it? The fact of the matter is, we don't know anything for sure. Things change all the time. Do people?
It always seems so much harder for an individual to change than for a community to. The characteristics of an individual are less easily swayed by the so-called winds of change than that of a community's. A human's innate and personalized idealism always has this power to make him or her change. People are never satisfied with what they already have. It's human nature not to be satisfied. If you're completely satisfied, you're not human. Thus, everything always has to be so dynamic. If we are constantly changing then, why is it so hard each time? Why do we obsess over it so much? Do we even need to change?
I believe that the difficulty of change lies within letting go that which is to be changed, or the acceptance of that which has been changed. Batman told us that "it's what we do that defines us." Well, he's right. When people begin to change, they change what they do. Doing different things are difficult because the usual activities you're so gleefully used to feel like home. Changing requires courage to leave home, the discipline not to mess it up, and the responsibility to keep it up. And quite frankly, each of us go through so many things to muster up the audacity needed. We mistake bravery with insecurity and become obsessed with change. We say things like, "Magbabagong-buhay na ko." We drown ourselves in that innate idealism we so-long pursue. Henceforth, we become unhappy with who we are presently, turning that insatiable thirst for dynamics against us. We do change a lot. But most of this change comes naturally. If done with force, we would lose identity and end up not changing the way we're meant to or not changing at all. There are certain things we have to accept about ourselves despite the change we try so hard to instill. No one's as great as he/she thinks he/she is. We all have excess baggage. The question is, how much and which ones are you willing to carry?
Just go with it.
the adventure ended at 8:53 PM
Thursday, February 08, 2007
PenanceTo err is human, to forgive, divine.
Alexander Pope must've had it easy.
There is an underlying irony between the exchange of apologies and forgiveness. To anyone who has experienced it, saying sorry is not that easy. Pride is a mean, ugly, furry thing that gets stuck in your throat and refuses to budge. Swallowing it is a task in itself. Especially when you know you're right. On the other hand, forgiving someone is not exactly peaches and cream either. It's sheathing your sword when your victim deserves to die. Forgiving someone takes a lot of tolerance and courage. Especially when you know you're right.
There are two kinds of people who say sorry. One of them is the kind that says sorry just so the other person would feel better. The feelings of the offended are of utmost importance. The other is the kind that says sorry because he/she is, in fact, really sorry for what he or she has done. It transcends the feeling of the offended (though still includes it). It's a personal, outright feeling of crappiness because of the offense which he/she has committed which has caused the ill nature of the offended. So when we say sorry, do we just say it to make the person feel better and not get upset at us? Or are we really sorry for what we’ve done? If you're the first kind, then you're really not getting the point. Sorry isn’t just a magical word to make the person feel better, you have to really mean it. You have to really feel sorry. Because if you don't, then don't say it. Just say something like, “Please feel better.”
As for forgiveness, let's just say that I, well at least in my own life, am finding it a lot harder to do than saying sorry. So I'm just going to quote a guy name Howard Martin:
In the long run, it's not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You're not forgiving them for their sake. You're doing it for yourself. For your own health and well-being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option. It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Don't let these people live rent free in your head. If they hurt you before, why let them keep doing it year after year in your mind? It's not worth it but it takes heart effort to stop it. You can muster that heart power to forgive them as a way of looking out for yourself. It's one thing you can be totally selfish about.
Take it slowly. The deepest resentments are wrapped up in a lot of hurt and pain. We think we're protecting ourselves by not forgiving. Acknowledge that and go easy on yourself. Forgiveness means that you've decided not to let it keep festering inside even if it only comes up once in awhile. Forgiveness is a powerful yet challenging tool that will support and honor you, even in the most extreme circumstances.
As much as I'd like to disagree, the man’s right. Whenever you hold a grudge against someone, you're sort of linked to that person involuntarily. It's like this heavy tail that keeps following you around that holds you down every so often. The only way to chop that tail off is to forgive that person. It's a hard thing to do. Your enemy's on his knees, tied up and defenseless and you're given a broadsword. You look into that person's eyes. This person has caused you immeasurable amounts of suffering. You grip the sword tight. To add to this, your enemy is continually mocking you and giving you all the more reason to destroy him. Now, how hard is it, really, not to chop his head off? But as it should be, I'm dropping the sword.
the adventure ended at 6:58 PM
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Grown DownMy good friend Andre Suarez would always say, "Time waits for no man." He's always been right about that. In one way or another, we're all feeling it. We are getting older. It's a phenomenon that we, no matter how hard we try, cannot escape. I've always said that at the moment I start using the phrase, "Noong panahon namin.." it means that I am, regrettably, getting older (if not old). And once or twice, yes, I have caught myself using that reference. I don't know what it is but all of a sudden, I feel as if time is passing too quickly. Wasn't it just yesterday that our biggest problems amounted to breaking that vase in the kitchen and having to face the terror and anxiety of thinking what to do? Wasn't it just a few hours ago when that hardest question asked to us was 532 x 65? Wasn't it just about now when drugs, sex and pregnancy weren't issues we ever had to deal with? I mean WHOA. Where have all the simple days gone? And the scary part is, it's only going to get more and more complicated.
I was skimming this
website that my friend, Vicka showed me. Basically, it's about bringing back the 90's. As I went through each aspect of my dwindling childhood, I started to get really nostalgic. Ahhh. I remember the days of Power Rangers, Lamb Chops Play-along, Ghostwriter, Little Lulu, and yes, even Jem and The Holograms. Everyday, the routing would be the same. We'd go home, watch TV and wait for our favorite shows patiently. Where have those days gone? Now, kids start watching the OC, One Tree Hill, and even CSI way too early. I didn't move up to sitcoms and such until I was practically a teenager. And to add to that, with the wonders of DVD's, Youtube and Alluc, such shows we used to wait for are now available on demand. We're having it so easy these days.
I remember back in gradeschool, after each day, we'd all be on the field by the roadway playing games with each other. Be it Ice-Ice-Water, Langit-Lupa, Sipa, Teks, Patintero, Agawan Base, Looking-For-Shiny-Rocks-On-The-Ground, Playing-With-Hairy-Worms, we'd always be active and alert. Sure we had our Gameboys of old, the simple, monotone LCD screened giants, but we'd all still prefer to put a lot of action (real action) in our free time. Now, when I see kids, they don't have to play all those games we did in real life, their PSP's and Nintendo DS's can do it for them. Maybe their hand-held consoles already have Ice-Ice-Water in them, and they can all play with each other via Bluetooth! Soon, games like the ones we had would be reduced to nothing more than another "Ano yun?" by the succeeding generations. I mean, really, do any of our younger siblings still play Sipa or Tumbang Preso?
Back when I was younger, thinner and quicker (ah, such times have passed all too quickly), I used to be one of those basketball players who would die to get a shot. Scoring points would be the utmost importance as I epitomized the term Boy-Pilit in the game. I would go coast to coast, against three defenders, refusing to hear calls from open teammates, and generally trying a bit too hard thinking I could be the next Anfernee Hardaway (before the LBJ's and Melo's and D-Wade's). Where has that all led to? Now, I can feel it, I'm only a year or two older than the freshmen I play with at school but I can distinctly feel the difference. They're faster, stronger, more efficient scorers than I've ever been. I can no longer run with the best/rest of them. I get irritated by those who DO go coast to coast and keep fastbreak-ing like there's always just three seconds left in the game. I (almost) no longer take the wild erratic shots that I have been so accustomed to. I prefer to slow things down and (try to) execute efficient offense. My knees start aching 20 minutes into the game (may tubig na ako sa tuhod). My calves start cramping up after 30. I'm only 18 and I already feel like my "basketball career" is waning towards non-existence.
Back in the early pubescent years, the angsty, why-doesn't-anyone-understand-me years, we all thought that love and romance was as complicated as it would get. Why doesn't she text back? Do you think she likes me? How should I begin to text her? Is it okay to call her up at home? How do I hold her hand in the movies? What's in a kiss? We all thought that the answers to these questions would take us to teenage-relationship paradise. As the She's All That's and Ten Things I Hate About You's have shown us possible. I never thought I'd be thinking and feeling the way I would now, five years ago. I remember thinking, back when I was 13, that I had the most complicated and demeaning problems in the whole world (well, it WAS bad; I mean, the girl I was falling for left me for another WOMAN, at 13. Beat that.) and I predicted that by 18, I would be older, more mature, and problem-free. The thing is, I didn't think that our problems would grow and mature like we do. Even faster that us. Now, the problems we deal with involve pregnancies, sex, friendships forged and ruined, and REAL heartbreak. When we were younger we thought heartbreak would be getting rejected by the girl we were "in love with." But now, being plainly rejected is actually letting you off easy. With all the drama, sidebars and details that come with "rejection," it gets a whole lot more complicated than that.
Save the "Bata ka pa!" lectures. I know I'm still young. But honestly, at 18, I can and will say that I've been through a lot. More than most people my age I'd say (But that would be being arrogant). I'm glad and grateful that after all of it, I'm still alive and well. Through the rises and falls, we've all learned how to get by. It's scary to think that all of this is only going to get harder and harder. It's even scarier to know that all of this is only going to get harder and harder. One thing I can conclude is that growing up sucks. What with the new generation and the way they're growing up (soooo fast), it's only going to get suckier. I miss going home from school, watching cartoons, taking a nap and playing with my Sega Genesis. I miss the feeling of "kilig." I miss the simpler days. And through it all, because of all this, I'm missing my childhood.
the adventure ended at 8:57 AM
