Wednesday, September 06, 2006
love and basketballpeople who know me can say that i tend to get a wee bit, umm, over-passionate over things that i really want to obtain. that goes with sports too. yeah. when you're down 0-2 and you're up against another 0-2 team, someone like me can get a little too "atatsky" for a win. when the stakes are like this, screw the stats, i'm all about winning. the thing is, i played horribly that game. and it killed me thinking that maybe i could've contributed better to the team if i wasn't so over-excited and everything. we lost. by four measly points. and i went crazy. so many things were going wrong that week. too many things were factors of stress, depression and anxiety. that basketball game was the only thing that i asked God for just to make me feel better. just a little better. one short breath of relief. ergo, i poured my heart and soul into that game. everything i had. even though i played horribly, i knew what i had to do. played limited minutes, passed the ball, played solid defense. we tried everything. but still, we came up short. and so, what was meant to make me feel a bit better magnified all the bad things and ended up making me feel a lot worse. i was without a heart and without a soul. so i went ballistic. i was hostile. i threw the biggest tantrum i ever have in years. if you talked to me, i'd kill you. and i'm sorry that people had to see me that way.
anyway, after that, i learned to just chill and be steady before the game. not to be too intense as to lose sight/grip of reality. and i think, the team was just finally ready for a win. and so, the next week, after 3 heartbreaking losses, we gained our first win.. and did it in style [in style = a 25-point lead. EVERYONE played a great game!]. it's been quite a while since i last felt the thrill of victory. it feels pretty damn good.
sigh. sorry. i just wanted to pour all this basketball-stuff out.
the adventure ended at 6:24 PM
