Friday, March 24, 2006
technically, this is my 101st blog entry. so happy 101st blog entry anniversary to me, if there's ever such a thing. hehe.
what's it all about?a while ago was my sister's graduation. i am now, officially, the only abastillas child who has not yet graduated. she graduated an Honorable Mention. props to her! it's an achievement i can only hope to garner myself. but being the lazy-ass bum i am, hope is the closest thing to the award i'll ever get. anyway, the entire ceremony got me thinking about my future plans in life,
or lackthereof.
i'm terrified of graduating. suddenly, i feel over-sheltered, dependent, and afraid. it's like once i graduate, i'm suddenly going to be pushed off the eagle's nest and be expected to fly. but i have no idea what to do. when the time comes that i write my resume, i haven't a clue what the hell i'm gonna put in it. i feel so raw. i guess being adventurous and spontaneous and easy-going has major draw-backs in the long run.
the thing is, i keep on imagining these plausible scenarios for myself. i rarely think of the future. you see, i'm more of a cross-the-bridge-when-we-get-there kind of guy, but ever so often, the future does come knocking on my door and it
does expect an answer from me.
scenario # 1Mr. Anakin Skywalker
after a few years of working corporate for experience, i imagine getting a masters' degree somewhere [wherever] and then joining the family business. or even put up a business of my own. or go back to a corporate job. this path is very clearly paved, but it's really not the one i want. it's REALLY NOT the one i want. but then, sadly, as the dreams we have that we must store in our drawers, this is the path i might take anyway. sadly. i really don't want to.
scenario # 2Mr. Luke Skywalker
i take the same basic path as scenario # 1. except instead of joining the family business, i enter advertising. join the creative department. work crappy long hours beating deadlines and squeezing out my own creative juices to the last drops. i'd rather this much more than the 1st one.
scenario # 3Mr. Fartsy
i graduate and get a job in journalism. i write and i write and i write. i use up every drop of ink from my pen and every molecule of lead from my pencil and hope that it's enough to put food on the table. maybe end up writing a novel. or a children's book. on the side, i take fartsy pictures and sell them to ad agencies or ambitiously put up my own galleries. why stop there? i'll paint stuff and sell those too! haha. and what the hell, i'm never one to quit while i'm ahead. i'll call greg up and form a band! make music with burning passion, not burning peso signs. haha. what a dream.
**
when you really think about it, my plans stink. haha. it's like the bridge i'm to cross when i finally get there is a bridge without an end. it just goes on and on and on. there is no other side. and that's what makes me afraid. false pursuits that'll lead me to nowhere.
girlsi am suddenly reduced to the shallow perspective of six-year olds who believe that girls are the main source of
cooties [which, by the way, aren't even
uso in the Philippines]. what's the deal with girls? why must us guys be overly intense about them all the time? Calvin [from calvin and hobbes, of course] once said, "Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what." at a certain level, i concur with my wise master and mentor. i know how it feels like to have cooties. hahahaha.
haaaay. in any case, girls are living proof that all guys are masochistic. we just can't get enough of that which brings us so much pain, discomfort, annoyance, and ball-busting intensity! i guess love is really just a passionate form of masochism. it's the kind of pain that makes you sigh and smile rather than pout and cry. after all, unless something makes you bleed, it isn't real.
shiyet. mga babae talaga o!
Labels: Special
the adventure ended at 11:03 PM
