Sunday, February 19, 2006
curtain callwe had a good show! a big thanks to everyone who watched our show. hope you all enjoyed it. back to normal, stoic life once again. it was great while it lasted. i'll miss the moment. i'll miss that old feeling.
shifting sandthe other night, i was with dre and pedro on the roof. i have to tell you, there's just something about the roof that makes you talk about the weirdest things. it could be the fact that it's all too cold and peaceful. it could be the perfect view of the stars and the moon. or maybe the city lights [one can actually see eurostar from the roof]. maybe even the occasional sighting of shooting stars [which we had the privilege of having that night]. whatever it is, going up the roof is like going to another planet. everything in this world is suddenly blocked out, and we feel as if we own time and the entire universe.
anyway, of all the things we talked about, from our individual sentimental crap about friendship, love, and etc, to my weird philosophical and scientific theories, to pedro's alleged sexcapades which led to alleged genital disorders, the topic that struck me the most was dre's queries and comments on faith.
i have never been a religious person, but i've always been a faithful one. i keep an open mind and i do have my doubts, questions, and fits of denial like everyone else, but my faith will never falter. because in an existence where there's no such thing as certainty, all you really have is your faith. your ideals, your philosophies, your principles, and everything in between. that night, we tested our faith talking about the irony of predestination and free will, the imminent end of the world, the possibility of God and the devil actually working hand in hand, being able to serve in the Army of God, and the fear that when the time comes that the world might end, and we are given the final choice of sides, if we'll be able to keep a steadfast faith and choose the right side despite all the temptations and offers [i hope i'm strong enough]. i don't think i can express how sincere and intense our conversation was. talking about what we did ignited mixed emotions within me. most of it was very contradicting. i remember ending the conversation saying that i knew that our faith had so many ironies and contradicting ideas, and there's not a thing we know. but we are only human. i believe that everything has an answer, it's impossible for something to not have a reason, but it's just that we do not possess the capacity to understand these answers. it's beyond us. and the closest thing we've got to something concrete is faith. i don't know if we'll all be saved or we'll all be doomed in the end, but i'd sure like to believe in something amazing and genuinely good. because if i don't, what's the point?
only God can judge me.
the adventure ended at 9:37 AM
