Sunday, February 12, 2006
wow! 10,000 hits in 15 months. thank you very much! hehehe. i'll keep on posting if you keep on reading.
single awareness daymy dad made a bet with me two or three years ago. he told me that if i didn't have a girlfriend by the time i was 18, he'd take me wherever i wanted. i asked him then if he was serious, he told me, "why not?" i'll be 18 in less than a month, and from the looks of it, i'm going to win the bet.
i don't want to win the bet. it's not that i don't want to be in a relationship, i guess there's just something wrong with the entire idea of it all. i've done a LOT of stupid and evil things to people before, and i really am sorry for all of them. but i don't know if i regret doing them. maybe cuz everything
sort of turned out for the best. and all those experiences solidified everything that i am right now, and that makes me grateful. at least the way i see it. but now, after everything that's been, i'm shit-scared of what lies ahead. and i really wanna back off and be like every other cynic that hates the God-forsaken "holiday" coming up. i no longer want to take chances. i no longer want to feel. the words "you'll never know unless you find out" do not appeal to me any longer. at least for now, while i settle the issues about myself, i wanna do nothing. self-preservation, if you will. and not only that, i don't want to risk involving anyone in my pit of despair. no more. especially people who don't deserve it. people i care for.
but it's hard once
that old feeling comes back. it's hard not to take a chance. but i know that i shouldn't. so
i guess i won't.
happy valentine's day to everyone celebrating it. on that night, i'll be alone at home, prolly be watching re-runs of friends. hahaha.
showour show's in a week. i want everyone to watch! Looney Alley. February 17, 2006. 8pm at the Philam Theater on UN Ave. tickets are priced at P300. hope everybody can watch.
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anyway, i'm feeling blank right now. i'm facing a major writer's block [hence, the long-spanned entries]. i just hope i can squeeze enough inspiration out of myself to be able to write some more.
the adventure ended at 12:54 AM
