Sunday, July 24, 2005
wow. my 5oth blog entry. and on this blog alone. this is presently my 3rd official blog, excluding the crappy ones that didn't work out. from
http://oogoog.blog-city.com to
http://www.xanga.com/oogoog to this. wow. i've been in this longer than a lot of people. more than two years. even before friendster came along. haha. intense.
who i ami was listening to an old Creed cd the other day and i came across the song
Higher it's a re-current hit from about, say, four years ago. and i never really got around to listening to the lyrics back then. and when i did, a few days ago, it fucked me up. yeah. i realized that i am this song.. personified.
When I'm dreaming I'm guided to another world
Time and time again
At sunrise I fight to stay asleep
Cause I don't want to leave the comfort of this place
Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escape
From the life I live when I'm awake
So lets go there
Let's make our escape
Come on let's go there
Let's ask can we stay?
Can you take me higher?
To a place where blind men see
Can you take me higher?
To a place with golden streets...
...Up high I feel like I'm alive for the very first time
Said up high I'm strong enough to take these dreams
And make them mine
whoa.
and cuz of this. it made me think sooo much again. about the things i want and the things that i am and am not, and what i wanna become. and i realized that i'm never gonna reach the absolute ideal that i wanna obtain, which is [right now] the point of my whole life.
but then, this is the inner me talking. the rational, plain self that still exists is the one that's saying that i am totally fucked up in the head and in the heart. why the hell should i be thinking of such things anyway? i guess it's the part of human nature that God maybe forgot to imprint in my soul when He was creating me. i
know it's stupid, but still, i can't accept it. everybody dies. but only a handful of people actually live. and i'd rather live for a moment being one of those people than die like everyone else. what we're living, even the hardest/most dire/most bizzare/most fantastic of times, this can't be life. not just this.
right? [fuck. this is the nth time i've talked about this. stupid stupid me]
shit man. okay na eh. i mean i was okay with everything already. i was at peace. but this song had to come along to ruin it all. haha. but nevertheless, i love the song. and i believe it's starting to rank up in my list of all time favorite music. haha.
the adventure ended at 2:30 AM
