Tuesday, July 12, 2005
green blood flows through these veinswell, just to keep it as blatant and frank as possible, La Salle won! haha! by a lot. imagine, what team would actually go down as much as 33 points? tsk tsk. di kinaya! hahaha. so my record of watching La Salle games live has just improved to 5-0. yeah.
repriseentry below was from my old blog, dated September 2, 2004.
the real definition of a perfectionist is someone who gets everything he wants all the time. ergo, no one is a perfectionist. no one is a perfectionist because life isn't always fair. it doesn't always play by your rules. it doesn't care how much you get hurt and how much you lose. you gamble on it. and sometimes, you just won't win. we all have our dreams. we want to be lawyers, celebrities, doctors, pilots, musicians. people who bet their whole lives to win a little cheese and get there are probably the luckiest people in the world. but then, people who don't get it, who want the prize more than those who won, are just plain unfortunate. some dreams are just not worth keeping. some we just store in a drawer and take out from time to time to admire. i've just realized this. everything i thought i will be in the future is not everything i will be. the things i've always wanted, the people i've always wanted to share my life with are just dreams in my drawer, there for admiration.
sometimes i wish that life was digital, that it came with its own remote control. you could fast forward, rewind, and most importantly, pause. pause at the moments worth keeping. the moments worth forever. moments like those come by too quickly. pause receiving that diploma. pause at that first dance. pause at that first kiss. pause at that 'i do'. pause at that first bawl of that first baby. pause at the eyes of that first grandchild. and at that last moment, go to scene selection, and play the best scenes one last time. but with a life like that, we'd all be perfectionists. life would suck. nothing would be real. it would all be something controlled by us. we'd be alive but not living. we'd be happy but not content.
my dog died the other night. her name was princess. we got her about 3 years ago with a partner, max. they'd been together since they were puppies. we didn't know why nor how she died. but after she did, max hadn't been the same. when someone would pass him by, he'd bark, he'd howl, he'd pant, he'd go wild. but then again, he's always been like that. no. this time, it was different. you'd feel it. plus the fact that he'd go for hours on end. it's the only time asides his usual plea for food that i understood him. he missed princess. he was asking us where she was. they say missing someone is the most painful feeling of all. you're anxious, you're longing, you're depressed, you're empty, you're lonely; it's so many feelings packed up in you. it's such a powerful emotion even dogs feel it. and you can feel them feeling it. but the question remains: how can you keep missing something that you know will never come back to you? it's an unbelievable, unexplainable waste of yourself. but at the same time, it's the only thing you can do. when you miss someone or something, it means that a part of you was taken away and no matter how much you try, nothing fills the void. it's a part of YOU that's missing. and it's natural that YOU won't be the same if you're not COMPLETELY you.we've missed so many things in our lives. how much void have we tried desperately to fill up? how much part of ourselves do we still have? how much have we changed?
the adventure ended at 5:19 PM
