Saturday, May 07, 2005
nirvanai'm not a perfect person. that i know. i have my faults and i know i've been really evil to some people, but does that make me a bad person altogether? i'm really, really wondering. cuz if it has, i'm really willing to do what i can to change that. i don't want to be the bad guy. though i've said my piece and tried to make amends, i guess it isn't enough to de-fault my faults. and it makes me feel really bad about myself. the fact that people think i do not care, that i'm a bad person, that i have to change myself entirely, that i have to keep doing something to prove to certain people that though i've made my mistakes, i'm not that bad a guy. but then, when people whom you have wounded rub salt on their own wounds, the wounds which you know you have created yourself, it really makes you feel guilty. you keep trying to bandage the wound you've made, but it never heals. and it's still your fault. some people would think, "tanginang sugat yan o, ayaw naman gumaling, iwan na lang natin sa ganyan." but i'm not
some people.all i want is to be in good terms with the people i know i've hurt. no labels. no backtracking. if it's still me that needs to do or say something to make things right, then be it. if it's my fault, then it's my fault. i have no pride whatsoever. i know i've made my mistakes, and i'm gonna do whatever i can to amend the ties that i have lost.
i just hope i'm really not as evil as people think i am. but if i am, if i really am, then shit. i'm sorry. i didn't realize. but now that i do, i just want people to know that i'll still make mistakes like anyone else because i am not perfect. but when i do make mistakes, i learn from them and i try my very very best to make things right. like the way they should be.
i'm just really sorry. i know it's my fault. sorry talaga. from the bottom of my heart. i never meant for these events to occur. so so so sorry.
the adventure ended at 3:40 AM
