Saturday, April 30, 2005
uhhh, that des'ree songthe world's been spinning around a lot faster lately. lots of things have happened since the last time i blogged. realizations. surprise endings. happy endings and sad endings. new beginnings and etc. for so many of my friends, including myself, events keep taking place and it's hard to keep up. life takes over and you can't do a thing about it. you wanna just stop for a moment, take a deep breath before plunging down again, but life won't let you and it sucks but there's no use sulking about it cuz there's nothing any of us can do about it.
people have been too melodramatic lately. yes, that includes me. and i guess it's the natural reaction when existence slaps you in the face and thrusts a cold stick of confusion, melancholy and hoplessness up your ass. in the past week, i've seen people cry, be down and emotional more than i ever have in my whole life. and it makes me sad. like one of my bestfriends' said to me the other day:
"dude, pansin mo ba, as we get older, we get sadder din? i hate growing up. mas ok dati nung mas simple buhay noh? you play with your toys. and when your crush texts you once, you're so happy na. these days, masyado nang complicated eh."
now, i love being the confidant and all. i have no complaints about it and i love being able to at least be there to listen to the people i endear, but the thing is, whenever i do, they tend to share the weight of that circus elephant [and its trimmings] riding their backs to me. it's not their fault, it's just that i feel what they feel and combining all the people that share their elephants [sounds really weird] to me, i just feel really bad and shit. and to add to that, dude, i have my own problems din naman diba? and lately, they've been adding up. so basically, i feel like i'm in the boxing rin with life right now. i am mzonke fana and life is erik morales and he's just having his way with me. swollen, bleeding, and knocked out of my senses, the 2nd round hasn't even started. and there is no such thing as throwing in the towel. though i get a few punches in, i'm losing my battle... as of now. shit dude, there are a lot of rounds to go, and Mzonke isn't the "South African Wonder" for nothing! hehehehe.
now don't get me wrong. i'm not feeling all that depressed. i'm actually pretty okay. someone actually asked me yesterday, "what's the problem?" [nakatulala nanaman ako nun eh] and i said, "wala. i'm okay." "eh ba't ka nakaganyan?" and i answer: "wala lang, marami lang akong iniisip." bakit ba, may pinagkaiba naman and may problema sa may iniisip diba? hehehehe.
anyway, in one end, i'm glad i joined rep. though it re-instated a lot of 'hazzlez' to my life, it also gives me something else to do. you know? when you're at home alone the whole day, you're forced to be bored. and when you're bored, you think. and when you think, you feel crappy. and so what's the solution? don't stay home. and don't think anymore! hahahahaha. let your brain atrophy na lang! hahaha.
the adventure ended at 12:26 PM
