Tuesday, February 22, 2005
is the juice worth the squeeze?okay. so i have my last two academic days ahead of me. i've been sighing for quite a while now as i recollect the past few events that i have experienced as we finally close the longest chapter of my life yet.
within the projects, the late nights, the juicy/emo talks, the sleep-overs, the hang-outs, the lounging, the gimiks, the cries, the laughs, the awkward pubescent maturity process and everything in between.. lies the deepening memory. before we know it, that's all that these moments have become. [joel, stop reading or risk crying. hehehe.] life is fleeting. this is why, shit, no matter how bad things get, no matter how much i just want to disappear and let go of everything.. i still can't. the juice would not be worth the squeeze. so on this day, in this blog entry, just to sum up everything i've ever experienced, every shit-hole i've had to climb out of, and every challenge i've had to face [i'm filled with repitions], i would like to quote steve stiffler...
"just sit back. relax. and let the good times roll."life. it's real. always has been, and always will be. the real-est thing in the universe. that's what makes it worth living.
times are toughdespite the heat, the profusely sweating armpits, the seemingly increasing weight of my many bags, the pollution entering my lungs and shortening my distance to lung cancer, and not to mention the hundreds of feminists rallying at EDSA against my way... i made it to megamall from LSGH. now, this wasn't the first time i did it, but for some odd reason, it was a lot harder this time around. maybe along with the weight of my bags is the ton of blocks on my back which is all the projects, deadlines, stresses and lack of sleep. hassle. we neevr do anything in school anymore, but that doesn't mean we don't do anything at all PERIOD. with insufficient days to go on with normal lessons and the epidemic [neigh, the plague] in LSGH called "near-the-end-of-the-school-year-laziness-and-lack-of-care-for-anything-itis" [yes, it is an inflammation. you get an inflamed ass from sitting on it the whole day doing nothing], teachers have just decided to stuff us all with projects and shit. whee. such fun. [one more week baby]
procrastination is my girlfriendwill-power. priorites. responsibilites. just some of the words which are in my vocabulary buuuut have lost meanings. hehehe. yesterday, we were dismissed at 12pm. i told joel that i'd go to his place and start working on our thesis paper. hmmmmm. 10pm. we are watching the last minutes of the all-star game, discussing 'juicy' stuff while eating tikoy with absolutely no work thesis-related accomplished. i wonder if i'll ever get over this phase. ooh, i wonder if this is even a phase at all. or maybe it's just me! hahaha. well, if i survive college this way.. "what an accomplishment!" hahahaha. whee. hehe. hmmm. enough na. i'm getting weird.
morpheus is a losergod of dreams? how's this? *sticks middle finger up*
Dreams are badWhen all they do is leave the truth behindDreams are badWhen negativity's a state of mind - silverchair, untitled, from the soundtrack of Godzillathere are just a few things i wanna give up. big things. things i've always thought i could do, things i always thought i could have. i've aspired too much in this life. hell, aspiring ain't bad at all, but when you do it as much as i do [and add the fact that i have NO {or at least run out of} will power what so ever to pursue these dreams] it corrupts you and leaves you empty. and so.. big things that i will give up are..
1) after all these years, mary jane watson [there will always be a harry osbourne]
2) the dream of becoming a talented and great musician
3) the dream of having something out-of-this world/extraordinary [matrix meets harry potter meets LOTR meets all-the-romantic-and-cheesy-movies-combined meets mars attacks meets indiana jones meets etc] happen to me
4) the dream of finding someone who'll be all i'll ever want
5) the dream of dunking the basketball
whee. i am such a loser. whee. hehehe. but one thing i'll never give up on though.. is my dream to be remembered. i will not die and be forgotten. i dream to be immortalized in something that i did or by who i was when i lived. i'll never give up until i achieve this. ooh, the makings of an adolf hitler. an idealistic freak who dreams too much and who's overly eccentric. hehehe. watch out.
the adventure ended at 7:33 PM
